Joke Wednesday - Bedside Manners

Susie's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months. Things looked grim, but she was by his bedside every single day. One day as he slipped back into consciousness, he motioned for her to come close to him. She pulled the chair close to the bed and leaned her ear close to be able to hear him.

"You know" he whispered, his eyes filling with tears, "you have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you stuck right beside me. When my business went under, there you were. When we lost the house, you were there. When I got shot, you stuck with me. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. "And you know what?"

"What, dear?" she asked gently, smiling to herself.

"I think you're bad luck."

Joke Wednesday - Wrong Email

A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!

Joke Wednesday - Two Words

A prince had a curse put on him when he was a little boy. He could only speak two words every year. But, if he didn't speak for a whole year, he would then be able to speak 4 words the next year and so on.

One day he met a princess named Josie and he wanted to say "My Princess".

The next year he saw her he wanted to say "My princess, i love you".

The third year he saw her he wanted to say "My princess I love you, will you marry me?" But, the young prince, now growing older knew he would have to wait a couple more years.

So, on the fifth year, excited to finally present his question, he visited the princess.

He approached her respectfully and asked, "JOSIE, MY PRINCESS, I LOVE YOU. WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

And the princess said, "Pardon?"

Joke Wednesday - Who Wants to be a Millionaire

Meredith (Host): Sindy!! You made to $500,000 you are one away from the million!!! You still have your phone a friend lifeline left.
Sindy: I am so excited, let's play.
Meridith: Ok Sindy here is your final question. Which one of these birds do not build its own nest? A. Sparrow B. Humming Bird C. Cuckoo or D. Robin?
Sindy: I think that I know the answer but I am just not sure. I think I am going to use my phone a friend.
Meridith: Who would you like to call Sindy?
Sindy: I think that I am going to call Tammy (Sindy's Blonde Friend)
Meridith: Lets get Tammy on the line.
Tammy is now on the line.
Sindy: Tammy!! I am going for the million dollars, right now! I need your help with this last question. Which one of these birds does not build its' own nest? A. Sparrow B. Humming Bird C. Cuckoo or D. Robin?
Tammy (Blonde): Oh Sindy that is easy!!! It is the Cuckoo.
Sindy: How sure are you Tammy?
Tammy (Blonde): I am 100% sure that it is the Cuckoo.
Sindy: Thanks Tammy.
Meridith: Your friend seems pretty confident. If you get this question right you will win the Million. But if you get this question wrong, then you will drop back down to $32,000.
Sindy: I am going to go for it. C. Cuckoo final answer.
Meridith: Tammy…You are a MILLIONARE. Cuckoo was the correct answer.

Later on that night Sindy is super excited and has a massive celebration with all of her friends and family. She invites Tammy over to celebrate with them. When Tammy arrives Sindy wants to thank her personally for helping her with the million-dollar question.

Sindy: Tammy how in the world did you know that a Cuckoo is the bird that doesn't build its' own nest?
Tammy (Blonde): Sindy…everybody knows a Cuckoo lives in a clock.

Joke Wednesday - The Accident

My six-year-old grandson called his mother from his friend Charlie's house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in their living room.

"But, Mom," he said, brightening, "you don't have to worry about buying another one. Charlie's mother said it was irreplaceable."